Build the Relationship
Over the past several weeks, I have put up blog posts that tackle the issue of dealing with disagreement, confrontation and conflict by engaging in difficult dialogue. “Be READY, Get SET, GO” describes the three steps that – if mastered – will provide you with the skill to tackle difficult dialogue with confidence. The steps are relatively simple but are not necessarily easy. Learning them and applying them takes commitment and practice. In this post, we will look at the final stage of the third step – GO.
Closing a Difficult Dialogue!
If you managed to get to the moment where your difficult dialogue is about to end, there is a great sense of relief – particularly if you have been able to say what you really wanted to say. The last stage of the conversation can be a great opportunity to continue building a strong relationship with the other person.
Difficult Dialogue is . . . difficult! It is often very hard for both parties to “jump in” to tough conversations. Knowing this gives you the opportunity to acknowledge the dynamics that are at play. If a boss or a key client has changed their position on an issue because of your conversation – let them know how much you respect them for being open to a different way of thinking. Help them to feel like they always owned the choice of what to do. If you have had a difficult dialogue with an employee, express confidence in their ability to perform up to expectations moving forward and thank them for having the courage to hear a message that – although helpful – may have been difficult to receive. Most of all summarize agreement and connect the summary of agreement to the common ground you both share. It would be tragic to have a difficult dialogue only to later have to do it again because there is a misunderstanding regarding the outcome of the conversation.
Think about a situation involving difficult dialogue – did you actually thank the person for the conversation? If not, what is it that holds you back from closing the conversation as described above? Is your reasoning consistent with your objectives – what you really want – as an outcome? What would make closing the conversation easier? How can you make the other person feel valued?
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Dave
