Mastering Difficult Dialogue
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources, communication on Jun 29th, 2010
If a communication is important, wouldn’t you want to know that it was successful? Let’s dig into this a bit. If someone in your family had an accident at home and you needed an ambulance to come to your house – would you send an email? Obviously the answer is “no, don’t be ridiculous”.
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources, communication on Jun 1st, 2010
When we find fulfilling purpose and meaning in what we do, it’s a whole lot easier to put the kind of effort in that will lead to the kind of exceptional results that people and organizations are constantly searching for. So how come we seem to be focused on bigger titles, bigger salaries, bigger offices and other “stuff” when we should be thinking about finding work that we are passionate about. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with setting goals to achieve these things but is it really worth it if we are not doing work we really like to get there?
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources, communication on May 18th, 2010
So, in order to understand a person’s inner drive and intrinsic motivators, we must be able to have authentic conversations that may at times feel vulnerable because they explore questions of meaning and purpose and may ask someone to reveal their innermost thoughts and passions. These are not the kinds of conversations that we easily embrace. However, in order to more effectively to deal with performance issues in the workplace, we need to get beyond simple approaches that use – as Pink calls it – a “carrot and stick” approach and begin to focus on ways to explore the intrinsic motivators of employees.
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources, communication on Apr 27th, 2010
On a personal level, I would like to think that I am open to hearing the view of others because they can enrich our own thoughts and beliefs and may result in a change in perspective that emerges from a deeper understanding of the topic of discussion.
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources on Mar 23rd, 2010
Through my work helping organizations to tackle their “people issues”, it seems that a common thread running through many of the issues is the concept of accountability. When something doesn’t go as planned, the reactions of people involved often focus on ensuring that everyone else knows that it wasn’t their fault. This reaction could have many explanations: past punishment for having a part in a negative outcome; a person’s self-esteem could be at risk by admitting imperfections; perceived negative consequences related to ownership of the outcome of a situation; and the list goes on.
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources on Mar 9th, 2010
Difficult Dialogue is . . . difficult! It is often very hard for both parties to “jump in” to tough conversations. Knowing this gives you the opportunity to acknowledge the dynamics that are at play. If a boss or a key client has changed their position on an issue because of your conversation – let them know how much you respect them for being open to a different way of thinking.
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources on Mar 2nd, 2010
Once you have made it through Be READY, Get SET, you are ready to GO into a difficult dialogue. A key part of staying in dialogue is reducing feelings of vulnerability – for both parties. This means that you want to focus on building and maintaining a “WARM CLIMATE”.
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources on Feb 19th, 2010
Difficult Dialogue is hard to start. If you get the opening wrong, you’ll likely go off the rails pretty fast and you’ll spend time and energy trying to regroup. The key to a good start is to affirm the relationship, communicate “what’s in it for them” and share your positive intentions.
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources on Feb 2nd, 2010
If you have a difficult situation you need to address, think about the facts that you are aware of and the assumptions you are making with respect to the facts. Can you confirm your assumptions? If not, can you get more information before you initiate a difficult conversation?
Being open with yourself and with the other person will be very helpful in managing a difficult conversation and in building trust. If you don’t feel you can be open, maybe that’s what you should be talking about!
Posted in Business, HR, Human Resources on Jan 19th, 2010
Once you know you are going to have a difficult dialogue, you need to engage in preparation. There is an old cliché that states “those who fail to plan, plan to fail”. As strange as it may sound, you should take time to prepare for confrontation. Top negotiators know that when entering into a set of negotiations, it is very important to “do your homework”. So, what should you start with when getting SET for difficult dialogue?
